This is about to be one of the NOT best posts I have ever written.
And here’s why: It’s just to get me writing again.
I went M.I.A.
(cue some sort of song of doom here)
In the land of blogging I seriously dropped off the planet almost exactly a year ago. I know it. And it’s a heck of an explanation why. And it’s been a heck of a ride over the last year. But it’s also a heck of a way to kill your blog.
Do you know how hard it is to get back to writing when you have taken a significant break? It’s DARN HARD.
You may not know that I started writing in 2010 on another blog with an entirely different beginning. It was to communicate to friends and family what we were going through. We had so much crisis going on that it was almost impossible to keep everyone up to speed. And I really needed a way to ask for specific prayer support. That was how things started at Ellie Belly Updates. And over 3 years later it was far from how it ended.
I jumped over here in an effort to make some changes. From sick to healed. From crisis to hope. I tried…but it was harder.
Some life circumstances had changed.
Job change. House change. Reliable internet change. Other changes. And it all went downhill from there.
I even stopped popping in as much to GAPS Kids, something I am extremely passionate about. I resolved that I needed a major break, and I did. But I know now that a whole lot of my problem was trying to decide if it was worth it.
Worth the time. Worth the effort. Worth the energy. Worth the vulnerability.
Seriously. Blogging is brutal! (I had no idea either.)
After I switched websites and wrote about more than just Ellie, the emails and comments…changed. For some dumb reason I was shocked. People took time out of their day to purposefully spew anger and hurt at ME. And I was quite….surprised.
Isn’t that just dumb? Me, I mean. What was I thinking? That everyone out there would pat me on the back and thank me for sharing my controversial information? For rocking their boat a little? And nod understandingly, maybe even pat me on the back, because of the amazing education and healing I have witnessed in my home? That they would cheer me on because of it?
But there was another naked (and rather stupid) truth:
I had absolutely no idea how much DRAMA there was out there in the land of bloggers.
You see I looked UP to many of these mamas who had ventured into the land of blogging to educate and help others. I used many of them as resources as I transitioned into the land of real food, and many of them I have had the chance to meet, speak to, and even get to know. I didn’t see them as colleagues. I saw them as models to learn from. Norway They were ROCK STARS. And all of the sudden I felt like I was being hazed…by THEM.
I did my research well before posting. I take the spreading of accurate information and teaching very seriously. And I was ready to explain or provide accurate information whenever needed. I had no idea they would talk about ME instead of the information.
Seriously. I kid you not. Have you seen the post I did about butter? Holy Parkay, Batman.
Here’s the deal. I wrote about butter because once upon a time I had a kid who would vomit for up to two weeks, and risk severe dehydration that would land her in the emergency room if she even got a lick of some corn 50 times removed. Finding out that a little bit of corn was fed to some cow somewhere would be the reason for the screaming and crying little girl I would hold for night after night after night. I knew there were mamas who NEEDED this information. They needed to know their butter may not be what they thought.
And in the words of the Fonz…WHOA. It was like I had entered the land of blogger hell. As if I had ticked off some secret Kerrygold cult. Did you read some of those comments?
I was reprimanded for giving bad publicity to a company (huh?) I was lectured for being an extreme perfectionist. (Tell that to the vomiting children) And I was even accused of orthorexia by a major podcaster and blogger in the real food world. (I really laughed at that one. That’s like calling the parent of a child with severe peanut allergy a ‘helicopter parent’.) And let’s not forget that as Christians we don’t worry about food to such extreme. (OH PUH-LEASE)
I was the topic of conversation on facebook threads. Other bloggers took my post and wrote rebuttals. Some quoted me. Some slammed me. Some just flat used my content to drive traffic to their own blog.
And with that I had a quick 101 in blogging drama and politics.
Now wait. In all fairness it wasn’t 100% like that. I was not bashed by ALL. But it was enough to make me stop and wonder what in the world had I stepped in. And it caused me to pause and reflect on how visible and vulnerable I make myself and my family by hanging it all out here on the internet. I needed some time to ponder that.
And think. And PRAY.
What I finally decided was that it was all worth it. Spending the time and effort and energy and vulnerability to provide information and resources to those who are in desperate need of them, those who are searching the internet for help like I once did,…makes it soooo worth it. adsense protection Spreading hope is always worth it.
So on that note, let’s rock and roll back into the land of learning and growing. And hope spreading!
Did you miss me? 🙂
Hope is contagious! Pass it on!
~ Nicholephoto credit: Alex Bartok